Thursday, October 21, 2010

I trust only in
the swallow's ways
the unknown hills
the unkept days.

I walk only where the willows lead
and step where only moths have stepped
and all the travelers I have met
have not my pace, nor ease of breath;
they pick their slopes and rocky climbs--
yet I -- not I--
no vain regrets.

And where might I be, in some coming age
when I look back, past field and range
to distant tracks, where nary a man hath strayed
since uncounted days, and I, amazed,
see all of myself, and what selves remain.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I look forward to dying with glory, knowing how I have acted in my life, the victories I have won, and the significance of my losses. Every moment of kindness shall stay with me forever. I look forward to greeting that darkened door with open arms, with the assurance that I have done everything I was asked to do, that I have not only lived to the best of my abilities, but far surpassed them. I look forward to bringing my soul to Heaven, and being forever myself. God, this is your greatest gift: that I am forever rich in spirit, and that I shall never be forgotten of passed over by You.

Friday, October 15, 2010

My Life Protected

I was T-boned at an intersection. I was making a left turn from a residential street onto a main boulevard. My view was blocked, so after traffic cleared, I went to turn. Too late to stop, I looked up and found a white sedan flying at me down the street, had to be close to 50mph. I swerved, he swerved, and we actually swerved into each other.

The car hit me directly. The driver's side imploded, my seat was crushed, the door smashed in, the window shattered. My car spun out and I knew my hips were shattered. It hurt so much that I thought every bone in my body was broken, and the breath was knocked out of me so hard that I couldn't breathe for a minute.

While the car was still spinning, my friend in the passenger seat grabbed my hand hard and said "It's okay, pray! pray!"

"God," I gasped. I couldn't speak or breathe because it hurt too much, and I thought in my mind, 'please save me.' Just so you know, I don't have health insurance, and all I could think of was that my spine was snapped and I would lose everything to hospital bills. Then a miraculous thing happened. The car came out of its spin and straightened out, and drifted backwards across the street. I was frozen in the driver's chair, completely paralyzed by the shock of the impact, and I couldn't control the vehicle. The car drifted backwards on its own and straight into someone's driveway, where it stopped out of traffic. Basically, the car reverse parked itself.

Traffic continued more or less as usual. A few people pulled over to help, but my door was useless. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by firefighters who had to cut me out of the car. They rushed me to a trauma center at a county hospital. I was scared and ached all over. I had sharp pain in my lungs and I thought my ribs might be broken, since they were directly where the car hit, or at least my sternum from the seatbelt. However, after several x-rays and a cat scan, the doctors determined that there were no injuries other than cuts and bruises. No fractures, no ruptured organs, nothing. I was, more or less, all in one piece.

I was in pain all of last week and couldn't walk since my right leg is badly bruised, and my hips are a little out of whack, but nothing is broken.

My friend came out of the crash with her spine chipped in two places, a fractured neck, and a dislocated shoulder. She's in a neck brace and can't leave her bed. Thank God she has her family to take care of her, and thank God that I was spared from injury, because I don't think I could handle having broken bones right now. Apparently God agrees. My current burdens are enough!

God is amazing.