God confuses me.
He won't answer my questions. I want to know what my purpose is. What my meaning is. How I might find the direction and the stability that I seek. I want to share my faith with people, but I feel like they won't understand. I just want to be around people who believe in God and will let me have that personal relationship without trying to force their other beliefs on me. It is as Milton said -- God is Love, the rest is dialogue. I just want someone to accept me and my faith with no questions, as I would accept theirs. Faith and God are so important to me. I just want to talk to Him and listen and understand. I suppose that's what we all want, but what none of us really have. It hurts me sometimes to think that after finding Him, I'm still seeking. I'm still looking for answers, and goddamn my logical mind, it will not accept dogma as the truth. My mind wants God to tell me the truth, but God won't speak, at least not in words that the intellect understands. My heart knows its own answers, but it is keeping them from me just as surely as the great Beyond. I can feel His peace, but I am no closer to intellectually comprehending what is in store for me than anyone else.
I'll just pray to be led down the right path once again. Hopefully this time the right path will be easier to keep to.
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