Thursday, December 2, 2010

It is good she died, and all the years between
she called to me, but could not follow.

It is good she lay to waste
and shattered, less than a ghost
of the image I have become.

Let the fire that was her
perfection be aflame in memory,
for we break many times, and rebirth
is as painful as dawn, and newness
flush in her red cheeks
but they are pale, and it is good
that she trembled and fell
and I watched her fail
I watched her become

She is dead, it is better
because she left and I am new
it is better that she is gone and I, reborn

3 comments:

Tim Shey said...

I like this poem a lot. Is this about your mother?

"She is dead, it is better because she left and I am new it is better that she is gone and I, reborn"

Before Jesus rose from the dead, He died on the Cross for the sin of the world. Before a seed can grow into a tree, it has to die, lose its form and grow roots. The things and people in our past need to die out so that Christ can be formed within us.

Gerard Manley Hopkins once wrote about his self, his poor jack-self--implying that it must die.

"The Resurrection, a heart's clarion. Away grief's gasping, joyless days, dejection. Across my foundering deck shone a beacon, an eternal beam. Flesh fade and mortal trash fall to the residuary worm. World's wildfire leave but ash. In a flash, at a trumpet crash, I am all at once what Christ is since He was what I am. And this Jack, joke, poor postherd, patch, matchwood, immortal diamond is immortal diamond."

--Gerard Manley Hopkins

Theresa, you are an immortal diamond.

poetsforpeanuts said...

Hi Tim!

It's actually about the old me that died when my father died, more like what Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote about. I was a scared little girl then. Now I am a big brave woman, haha. "I watched her fail / I watched her become."

What I used to doubt has now been proven to me through a trial by fire. God is putting me through the wilderness; I guess He has deemed me ready to face it. I have a stronger relationship with God now, because I need to rely on Him in everything I do. God is my only shelter from the world. It makes a huge difference. How is anyone supposed to have unshakable faith when they're not forced to rely on it? I used to be afraid of controversy, but now I look forward to meeting it; I know that what I believe is true because I've lived it. Others haven't lived it, and that is why I must be a witness to God.

We're both blessed by God. The life you live gives your faith more authority in my eyes. That's why I listen.

Tim Shey said...

"The life you live gives your faith more authority in my eyes. That's why I listen."

These are very insightful words. I have sometimes wondered why the Lord has me hitchhike so much. Spoken words can be influential, but a man's life that is dead to self and has the power of the Holy Ghost flowing through it--this is very powerful.

Your life is the sermon. The more your life is dead to self, the more authority your life has--authority in Christ.