i am i am

I am in a dark place.

There is a singular light

shining down on me.

Not a room. Nowhere.

I look up, squint, speak.

I could kill myself with why;

they waste their time searching, like this is

something to be achieved, when

nothing about god will ever make sense

even when you can feel its words

in your stomach.

The light would whisper back, but I

cut it off, quickly--

I am a destiny unto myself

and always have been, but I lie

because I've never been anything more

than you, and without you, shall fall to nothing,

and yet

I remember the promise you made me,

when I lost myself

the first time.

You cannot hide from me.

The light never shifts,

just beams down; I do not know

if it is exposing or protecting;

I need both.

What? Is that all? And have you no explanation?

I listen.

here i am i am